I kinda hope she never sees this, but I kind of hope one day she does.
hopefully we'll be doing better than we are right now if she does. it kills
me everyday. why can't I just make someone happy? why do I bring this pain upon
myself? why do I seem to enjoy getting hurt when I'm already down? she doesn't
seem to like me anymore. I can't make someone like me if they don't want to.
I'm pretty repulsive I guess, thats what I think about myself.I wish, every day that
I wasn't who I am right now. or even myself at all... or whoever that girl was when you
actually wanted to be with me.
these silences are getting scarier
I'm losing what's left of myself
trying to get back someone who meant so much to me.
I'm in love.
with someone who probably doesn't want to even be around me.
I wouldn't blame her.

I'm just so fucking sad.