can't ever regret you, I won't ever forget you

theres so many things I want to say,
I just dont know how to start
you're amazingly beautiful in every single way
and I love you with all my heart.
I won't ever regret you
because baby girl, my love is true
i love being around you. so much so that I hate to leave you ever :$
I feel like all those cliche love songs I once heard, finally make sense.
they all make me think of you.
I'm so shy but I want to do eerything I can to make you happy
because you deserve to be
I want to make this work more than anything

you're so wonderful,
I'm so lucky to have you
<3

all we've been through, has made us stronger
and I'm so happy about itt.

I love you kayla

hello all nighter number two..

how can I get closer to you
my heart, its burning through
my chest and I can't contain it anymore
could you be the one I'm waiting for

how do I get by each day
when I can't even collect words to say
you reassure me every day
I'm alive

I decided starting now, till the end on February , I will post one thing that no one or few people know about me.



I'm a mess.
honestly, I'm glad that only a couple people will ever see this. ever since grade 7, I have had extreme self image problem. yeah I'll admit it. things around me would make me feel so much worse and it got to the point where I purposely starved myself to try and lose the baby fat on my stomach. I will be the first to tell you, I don't have a hard life. I feel that my mental being is the reason for a lot of my terrible reactions to things. my dad is a sociopath or how ever thats spelled, and it has been one of my biggest fears to end up like him. my mom is actually an amazing mom. sure shes strict, and shit happened in the past but she's honestly the reason I didnt just jump off the deep end. she doesnt know how some of the things she says, hurt - I really don't know what's wrong with me. actuallly I might, but I don't ever want to know the truth about that. I was raised differently than most kids. I was homeschooled till grade 7 because my mom used to be a teacher and loved teaching but didnt want to work in the school system. I'm so happy she did. although I was EXrEMELY naive and innocent when I entered school, I wouldnt change it. I remember when everyone made fun of me for asking what a blow job was. haha, or when I was the only kid in class who didnt know what cleavage was.. hahahahha I knew like nothing that all'these kids' talk about.

those crazy mother fuckers
they think you're crazy too
fuck that
we're all the fucking same.
some people have different minds,
so now theyre fucked?
people judge addicts,
but they can't until they look at theirselves.
everyones addicted to something.
doesnt make it right
but now people think they can tell you who you are?
fuck them

dreaming of coming home

step step, dance to the beat
the music dies
the drugs fade
the deception ends now
I'll be dreaming of coming home
I won't be the only one
who's dying to get back home
this won't be a long night
cause I'm dreaming of coming home

backwards whispers, forward plots
who is this all for?
forgetting all the fear once brought
now I'm dying to get back
dying to come back
home

why am I so creepy?

an unwinding path lays beneath my feet
I'll keep a little hope in mind
as I wander this cold street
walking forever to find
there's nothing else
no one else
who can take your place
you're irresplaceable .

if my mind wasn't dead I could actually write something that makes sense.

but what does make sense
is how I feel about you.
how happy you make me feel...
I still feel outrageously nervous all the time

cause, you simply amaze me.

and right now, you're asleep beside me (snoring) and I'm still awake.

can't stay awake
but dont wanna sleep