you may not know this, but I have liked many people.
'liked' being the key word there.
I may have had a couple 'things' that I don't even like considering a relationship
I thought the feelings I had for them were strong.
and yes, I've had feelings for both boys and girls.
but I don't even remember how that felt anymore.
because then one day, I fell in love.
I've loved this girl ever since I met her
and we've been through alot
even when I may have said
'i hate you'
I could never hate her,
I was always terrified to lose her.
it's funny how it seems, we're always going to be okay.
I wonder if she knew how much I really cared
but sometimes just said everything wrong
I wonder if she knows how much she means to me
=]

i guess it's good you don't go on blogspot anymore cause then you would see ........

That you don't mean anythin to me

nothing has ever felt more real

I've been at a loss for words many times before...
but not like this,
I don't know what to do.
my heart tells me one thing
my head tells me another
peoples opinions don't matter
I don't know what I'm thinking
like i don't know exactly why I'm always sad

it's easier to fall

I've left you all questioning before
you question my truth, and what I stand for
you question my heart
my will
my strength
how I once thought I had an everything
a story built up on mixed emotions
a mixed dream
a mixed life
nothing really showed itself till I was at my worst
should I do this again?
I'm not strong enough to go through this again
I'll be forever alone if that's what it takes
cause no one will ever love me for my flaws.
no one will ever love me for who I am.
it's easier to fall
but it takes someone strong
to walk away

do you remember when...

do you remember the days of old
when your heart never felt so cold
the dreams made sense
tension was never so tense
with reasons behind your tears
still hiding from all your fears
everyday was a good day
when everyone still seemed to stay
nothing to change your mind
because everybody seemed so kind
no struggles to detest
no poison to ingest
life was at its prime
once upon a time

Cedar Tree Varieties

Atlas Cedar (Cedrus atlantica): Atlas Cedars grow in the form of wide pyramids that are filled with needled evergreen leaves; these are mostly found in North Africa. The Blue Atlas Cedar (Cedrus atlantica 'Glauca') which has stunning silvery-blue needles is the most commonly planted. This type is not suitable for street planting. These cedars grow well in temperate climate, as they are not cold-hardy.



Cedar of Lebanon (Cedrus libani): Cedar of Lebanon is the most cold-hardy among the cedar trees and comes equipped with a thick trunk. They have bright green leaves that are open and irregularly pyramid-shaped. These cedar trees are exceptional specimens amongst the whole cedar family; however, they are not suitable for street planting.



Deodar Cedar (Cedrus deodara): Deodar Cedar also known as Himalayan cedar, is pyramid-shaped with dense, soft-textured branches in a tiered, pendulum-like form. These types of trees form a bowed structure, due to their low branches which incline towards the ground. These cedar trees are known by the striking shape they grow into, and also are the fastest growing cedar trees.



Eastern Red Cedar (Juniperus virginiana): Eastern Red Cedar is found in the wilderness areas in the eastern United States. Their needle-like, younger leaves grow to become older, scaly leaves. These bright greenish leaves turn into a pinkish hue during the cold season, and also emit a pleasant smell when crushed. These trees bear blue berries, which is an attractive winter snack for birds. The wood from this tree is used to make hedges or windbreakers. Varieties of Eastern Red Cedar include Canaerti, Blue Point Juniper trees, Burkii, Princeton Sentry, Emerald Sentry, Hetzii Columnaris and Keteleeri.



Oriental Arborvitae (Thuja orientalis): Oriental arborvitae are found springing forth in the form of a small tree or even like a small shrub. These trees usually develop from a dense and compact foliage, to an open canopy. They come with scaled needles, colored bright green. It is grown as a hedge, as they are easy to trim. The most common varieties include Bakeri, Blue Cone, and Elegantissima.



Northern White Cedar (Thuja occidentalis): The Northern White Cedar also known as White Cedar, Eastern White Cedar or American Arborvitae is used for landscaping. These type of tree types come with lustrous green, fragrant leaves, which cover the trunk from the ground up to the sweeping branches. They have dark brown trunks, which makes them ideal to be used as a hedge. The most common varieties include Affinity, Emerald, Sunkist, Hills Dark Green, Techny, Fastigiata, Nigra, Wareana Lutescens, Columnaris, and Pyramidalis.



Western Red Cedar (Thuja plicata): Western Red Cedar also known as Great Western Arborvitae, Canoe Cedar, Pacific Redcedar and Giant Red Cedar are found in the wild in the northwestern parts of United States and Canada. They are usefully cultivated to form hedges and for screening. The leaves are scaly with a glossy green color and are aromatic. They have a reddish brown bark, with foliage that turns brownish-bronze in winter. The more common varieties are Atrovirens, Emerald Cone, Zebrina, Stoneham Gold, Green Giant, and Fastigiata.